Name Ms HA
Hometown Ōtepoti Dunedin
Age when entered care 10 years old
Year of birth 1967
Time in care 1977–1983
Type of care facility Orphanage – St Joseph’s Orphanage in Dunedin; foster care; girls’ home – Dunedin Girls’ Home (Elliot Street Girls’ Home) in Ōtepoti Dunedin, Kingslea Girls’ Training Centre in Ōtautahi Christchurch; Arohata Borstal in Te Whanganui-ā-Tara Wellington.
Ethnicity Māori (Ngāi Tūhoe)
Whānau background Ms HA is the second oldest of five children; she has two brothers and two sisters. They all went into care and were separated.

“We didn’t go into care for being naughty, but we learned how to be naughty while we were in care.”

Currently Ms HA has been married twice. She reunited with her first husband, then he passed away. Ms HA has a whāngai daughter (she adopted her niece’s daughter) and has been to court to get guardianship. She is also a grandmother. She does not have much to do with her family, even though they live in Christchurch. They do not visit her, so she is isolated. She stays home every single day.

Our home life wasn’t good. Dad was a really good father and I loved him a lot – it was my mum who was the problem. She used to hit him and once she chucked boiling water over his face and he had scars. I think my mum was jealous of the attention my dad gave me because he treated me really well. She hated that, and she beat me. My mum kicked him out and we were left at home with her after that. She would have parties, and the men who came over would sexually abuse us girls. Then Mum took off, and we were at home by ourselves for a while. I remember it to be about three months, but I understand from my records it was a few weeks. We had no power and no food. I was about 10, and my older brother was about 13, while my younger sisters were nine and seven, and our younger brother was a baby, just three months old. We’d steal vegetables out of people’s gardens and cook on the fireplace, and we also stole food from the shop to survive and pinched milk bottle money. Somebody noticed and Social Welfare took us into care.

I was initially placed at St Joseph’s Orphanage in Dunedin. My memories are a bit hazy but I remember it was run by nuns and there were some good people there. They wanted us kids to stay together. I’m not sure how long we stayed there for, but it was a quick stay of a couple of nights. We were all made State wards at this stage. Dad couldn’t look after us because he didn’t have anywhere to live with us.

After that we all went to the Dunedin Girls’ Home, which was also known as the Elliot Street Girls’ Home. It was meant to be for girls, but there was nowhere else for us to go, so we stayed there until we got split up. Other girls were there for a range of reasons – care and protection, youth justice – but we were just there because there wasn’t anyone to take care of us.

We were given a social worker, but we didn’t get to see them that often. I told them I wanted to live with my dad, but he was busy working and was staying in a room at a pub, so he couldn’t take us. If they’d said to my dad that they could help us get a house so he could have taken us kids, maybe we could have stayed with our father, we would have stayed together, and everything would have been different.

If you were naughty or ran away you were sent to secure, the locked part, which had a big thick door like a jail cell and a little plastic window that was very thick and not breakable. There was just a bed and a table. I ran away a lot to try to see my dad. I’d visit him at the pub where he was living, or at his work. That meant I spent a lot of time in secure. I was in secure more than I was in the main area.

At the home, I was sexually abused by Edward Anand, who was a social worker there. He would come down to secure and molest me. He raped me about six or so times in there. The cells were soundproofed, so nobody could hear me screaming. He told us nobody would believe us if we said anything. I did tell, and so did other girls, but nobody cared, and he kept working there. I did tell – I told another staff member that Mr Anand was raping me, but I don’t think they really cared. He still worked there for a few years after that. There were other girls who told as well – we all knew because we’d talk to each other about it. 

I can’t remember much that was good about Elliot Street. There weren’t any adults there that I could trust. There were a lot of girls who were running away, but they never thought to ask us why.

I was sexually abused in foster care too. I was 11 or 12 years old when I was placed in a foster home. I didn’t see much of the mother – she would go to housie on a Saturday night, and the father would look after me. He’d sit me down in the living room and look at pornographic magazines while he sexually abused me – touching and raping. I told someone what he was doing, and they took me to the police station to make a complaint. He told police I was lying and that his parents were there on Saturday nights when his wife went to housie. So, nothing came of my complaint, and nothing was written in my Social Welfare file. 

I’d been running away a lot, shoplifting, and stealing cars, and went to Youth Court because of it. After that, I was sent to Kingslea. I wasn’t molested at Kingslea, but I knew other girls who were. I spent a lot of time in secure because I kept running away. I didn’t even know where I was going – I didn’t know Christchurch, I’d just run away with other people, in groups.

I was sent to Arohata Borstal because I was hanging around with the wrong people and I got involved with criminal activities. There were some hardcore women there, and a lot of them were quite scary. Corrective training was horrible, a boot camp style sort of existence. I really hated it. There was no schooling or preparation for life outside, and it wasn’t possible to run away from Arohata. Later, I ended up in Christchurch Women’s Prison, with an 18-month sentence for fraud.

Being placed in State care definitely impacted me. I never dealt with all the things that happened to me during my upbringing, so as a consequence, those things are still affecting me today.

I didn’t have a childhood. I had to behave like I was older than I actually was. My sisters and I didn’t go to Elliot Street for being naughty, but we certainly learned how to be naughty in there. I’m not close with my siblings – that’s a direct result of being split up when we went into care. We aren’t in touch now.

I was deprived of having an adequate education while I was in State care. I can read and write, but there’s a lot of stuff that I don’t know. I’d say I’m at primary school level for reading and writing. My daughter asks me stuff and lots of it I don’t know – so I can’t help her with any of her homework. I really notice it when I have to fill out forms because I don’t know how to fill them out, and there’s often no one there to help you do it.

I was diagnosed with PTSD a long time ago, and I’m also really affected by anxiety – I hate going to pick my daughter up from school, and wearing a mask makes me really anxious. I also have health issues – I have arthritis in my spine and legs, lung disease and back problems. I’ve struggled with a drug addiction, and I’ve made multiple attempts to kill myself. 

I’ve been in violent relationships. I think I thought that violence and abusive relationships were normal because I’d seen so much violence growing up. I also didn’t trust people after what I’d been through. One of my partners raped me and held a gun to my head, and I left that relationship.

I go with women now. When I was younger, I realised I was a lesbian but didn’t act on it. I think it was because of what was happening to me – all relationships were abusive. My first relationship with a woman was in Christchurch Women’s Prison.

Edward Anand, who raped me while I was in care, is still alive. In 2016, he was sentenced to 13 years’ jail time for rape and seven indecent assault charges against victims aged between 10 and 15. I gave evidence at the trial. It was horrible seeing him at court, and he didn’t have any remorse for his crimes against young girls. He’s tried to get the charges dropped.

It would be good if the government would take responsibility for what happened to us. I think people who were abused in care should get better help. I’d also love to get an education, even now in later life, to make up for the years I lost.

Now, I have my whāngai daughter – she's my niece’s daughter – and I go to church when I feel good. I found religion about the time I got my daughter. I have a much better life today.[408]

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