Name Mr NM
Hometown Whāngarei
Age when entered care 12 years old
Year of birth 1957
Time in care 1967–1973
Type of care facility Foster care; boys’ homes – Ōwairaka Boys’ Home in Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland, Hokio Beach School near Taitoko Levin.
Ethnicity Niuean
Whānau background Mr NM is the fourth youngest of 10 children and the first born in Aotearoa New Zealand in his family – the others were born in Niue.
Currently Mr NM has a daughter and two sons and is involved in a youth trust for Aotearoa New Zealand-born Niueans to help young people connect with their culture. His parents have passed away.

“The only time they knew I was Pasifika was when they were calling me a coconut.”

My family moved to New Zealand from Niue when I was fairly young. I spoke Niuean at home and English at school. My parents were busy working, and I started hanging around with some street kids. I was arrested for vandalism at about 11 years old, and I was 12 when I was taken to Ōwairaka Boys’ Home. I was in and out of there and Hokio Beach School for a few years.

There was physical abuse and the ‘kingpin’ system, and a lot of racism. I was put in secure too. I told my parents what was going on, but they didn’t believe me. I also went to foster care with a Pālagi family, and that was a real culture shock – I was completely lost.

It was confusing to me because I kind of lost my identity as a Niuean. I was surrounded by Māori boys, and the staff treated us all the same. There was nothing cultural for Pasifika in care. The only time they knew I was Pasifika was when they were calling me a coconut. I just lost my identity, and I took up the next best thing and became a Māori. I learned te reo and did well at that, but I just did what I had to do to survive. 

Ōwairaka was a hard and violent environment, but I think it wasn’t so much the violence for me but the mental side of things – I’d had enough, and I started having suicidal tendencies. I just kind of gave up and lost everything.

I was separated from my parents. They didn’t visit often. I saw them probably about three times while I was in care. 

I got out of Ōwairaka, aged 16 and went back home, trying to find a connection with my parents, trying to find some love. But it wasn’t the same, and I just gave up on my mum and dad and family and went out and did my own thing. It became a cycle – I went from boys’ homes to prison to being in the gangs, and then I had kids and everything changed for me – my whole outlook of purpose. I decided to break the cycle. I broke away from the gang scene and went up north and became more assimilated into the Māori way of living. 

I’ve slowly reclaimed my Niuean identity, but it took a long time. Even though I was New Zealand born, we’ve still got these barriers you have to go through to get to know your roots. Now, the thing is to try to get my family to connect with that identity. I’ve raised my kids more Māori than Niuean, but I wanted to bring them up with both cultures and to be proud of who they are.

Having kids – my daughter and sons – that kind of steered me away and onto a better path, but I’m still trying to find that direction and guidance. A lot of times it comes back to what happened to me in care, and I know I need to be proactive and positive. What I’ve got to share, it can make a big impact on a lot of others. It’s just about moving forward, and we all go forward together. I know it’s still a long way to go.[447]

Footnotes