Survivor experience: Mr NK Ngā wheako o te purapura ora
Name Mr NK
Hometown Taitoko Levin
Age when entered care 10 years old
Year of birth 1981
Type of care facility Health camps – Ōtaki Health Camp; police station cells – Palmerston North Police Station, Levin Police Station; family home; corrective training – boot camp (Tūrangi); boys’ home – Bridge Lodge.
Ethnicity Pākehā and Māori (Ngāti Raukawa)
Whānau background Mr NK is the second of six children – he has three brothers and two sisters. None of his other siblings ever got into any kind of trouble. Growing up, he was very close to his cousin, who lived with them for a while.
Currently Mr NK has a good relationship with his family and is in touch with his siblings. His mother recently passed away. He is closest to his younger brother, who supports him and helps him with his family. Mr NK has two children with different mothers, and he has a relationship with both. His daughter was raised by her mother and recently had a baby. From the age of 3 years old, his son was raised by Mr NK’s parents, then his brother.
“I don’t trust anyone and have learnt to hate people”
My parents were very hard on me when I was young, and I think I often misbehaved. My cousin lived with us for a while – we were very close and did a lot of things together. I don’t think my parents could control us.
When I was about 8 years old, my younger brother and I were sent to Ōtaki Health Camp. I’m not sure why. I have never told anyone this before, but while I was there, I was sexually abused by a staff member. He whispered sexual stuff in my ear and tried to touch me. He told me if I said anything, he’d do it to my little brother, so I put up with it – I was very protective of my brother.
What happened there, I saw as a weakness in me.
After this, I fell into crime and got involved in theft and shoplifting. My cousin was often part of this. My parents couldn’t control us and contacted Child, Youth and Family Services, who took us to the Palmerston North Police Station while they found us a foster family. We ended up staying in the cells for two weeks. It was frightening and the worst time in my life. Every night, drunks came into the station and screamed a lot. The station was next to a McDonalds, and that’s what they fed us three times a day. I haven’t eaten it since.
After two weeks, we went to a foster family for two months. We were badly treated, sometimes we were kicked, we didn’t go to school, and if we didn’t behave, or didn’t listen, then we wouldn’t get any food.
After that, I went back to my parents, but then I started messing up again. I wouldn’t listen to my parents and was often angry. When I was 13 or 14 years old, I was put in the Levin Police Station cells for two days and was caught trying to hang myself with my belt. It was a genuine attempt to die.
I was sent away to boarding school, twice, but I ran away. When I was 14 years old, I spent about two months at a boot camp in Tūrangi. I was physically abused there – one of the officers would hold me down when I was doing press-ups, kick me in the chest and ribs, and throw cold water over me.
I have spent time in and out of jail with lots of small sentences for burglaries and thefts. My last big sentence was in 2006 when I got more than five years for aggravated assault – I was released in 2012. At the end of this prison sentence, I reflected on my situation and sought help. I was prescribed drugs for sleep, which I have taken ever since. I didn’t get into any trouble again until 2022. At that time, I was prescribed something else for my anxiety – it helps.
I contacted the Royal Commission because of the serious consequences of my time in the police cells when I was 10 years old. I believe everything else that happened to me, and that I have done, came from that time, including the fear and trauma that made me attempt to take my own life a few years later. Now, every time I go to jail, they ask if I am suicidal – but I’m not since I’ve had my children.
I have spent my life in and out of jail. I have nightmares, I get very agitated around police, and I suffer from anxiety. I have no explanation for my current offending – I have always found prison acceptable, even though I know if I go to jail it affects my children.
The sexual abuse means I have trust issues, and this has completely coloured my life to a point where I don’t trust anyone, and I’ve learnt to hate people.
For a long time, I blamed my parents for my problems, however, they didn’t know about the abuse and violence that I suffered. I never disclosed any of that before.
I never got any help for the trauma I have suffered, and I would like those responsible to be held accountable.[138]
Footnotes
[138] Witness statement of Mr NK (25 March 2023).