339. Māori survivor Tania Kinita (Ngāti Hineuru, Ngāi Tahu, Te Arawa, Ngāiti Whakaue, Ngāti Tūwharetoa) shared her determination to thrive after her experiences in State care:

“I wasn’t ‘living’ during my time in State care, I was struggling every day to survive. I lived in a constant state of fear, and adults around me took my self-respect and mana. I could have been anything I wanted to be, but I was robbed of a childhood that truly allowed me to reach my full potential. I was depleted.

As a child, I carried the muri kawenga [burden and responsibility] of my whānau and whakapapa, something that was never mine to hold. As an adult, I have had to do a lot of healing to unpack this harm and release it with love. It has been a long journey, but one worth taking because I do not want my tamariki and mokopuna to carry the burden. I am actively breaking this cycle in my whānau.

At 50 years old, I can say that I love the life I have created for myself. I have an inner drive and strength to heal and restore my mana. I will not be another Māori statistic. I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive.” [409]

340. Some survivors attempted to find healing within various State and faith-based redress processes. However, as outlined in the Inquiry’s interim report He Purapura Ora, he Māra Tipu: From Redress to Puretumu Torowhānui, often redress processes were confusing, frustrating, and traumatising, and ultimately were not healing for survivors.[410]

341. In spite of the ongoing effects of the harm survivors suffered and the ongoing barriers to State and faith-based redress, all survivors demonstrated determination to endure, confront, persevere and triumph in the face of considerable and ongoing adversity. Coming forward to the Inquiry and sharing their experiences is testimony to this. The Inquiry acknowledges the strength it took for survivors to do so. Survivors gave many reasons for coming forward, the most common being to make sure abuse and neglect in care never happened to anyone ever again.

342. The Inquiry recognises that for many survivors the healing journey has not begun or is still ongoing. State and faith-based institutions have a role to play in ensuring survivors are able to “regenerate and grow despite the trauma that they have endured in their lives”.[411] This includes the need to ensure justice for survivors, to provide meaningful holistic puretumu torowhānui for survivors, and to enact meaningful societal change to ensure abuse in care never happens again.

Te hiahia ki te panoni i te pūnaha me te whakaora
A desire to change the system and to heal

343. Many survivors have a desire to change the system, to prevent ongoing abuse and neglect in care and to interrupt the transmission of intergenerational trauma. That is their motivation for sharing their experiences, in the hope that it will influence change for the betterment of all children, young people and adults at risk, in care now and in the future. Survivor Waaiti Ormsby said:

“If I can make a small difference, then the hurt and suffering that I experienced will not be in vain. Helping those who are vulnerable and breaking the cycle has been a hugely motivating factor for me to be involved in this process.” [412]

344. Wanting to move forward was important to building resilience, and what moving forward looked like was different for each survivor. Some survivors talked about the healing journey they were on and what resources they used to help their healing, such as connecting to their ethnic cultures and languages. The examples set out below are just a small collection of experiences of strength and determination of survivors in adversity and in a world where they were set up to fail and suffer.

345. Many survivors spoke about wanting to heal for their whānau – particularly for their children and grandchildren – to break the cycle of harm that being in care had caused. Many survivors have also used their determination to heal, to share their experiences with others, to ask for accountability for what they endured and to fix a broken system.

346. It is important to recognise, however, that none of these healing journeys are rooted in real justice for survivors. While individual healing is a triumph, systemic justice is required from State and faith-based institutions. These institutions must recognise the reality of, and take responsibility for, the ongoing impacts on our society to make true and meaningful amends. Survivor Dallas Pickering shared:

“I have now come forward to share my story with the Royal Commission, and with the public of New Zealand. The desperate cry of my heart is that other children do not have a childhood like mine."[413]

He mea nui te tūhono anō ki te whānau me te hāpori
Reconnecting with whānau and community is important

347. Many survivors, particularly Māori and Pacific survivors, lost their connection to and knowledge of, whānau, kainga, mātauranga Māori, identity, culture, language, values and practices. For many survivors, finding their biological whānau and establishing connections with them, their wider communities, cultural identity, language, and cultural values and practices was a critical part of their journey and moving forward. Māori survivor Ms CH (Ngāi Tūhoe and Ngāti Raukawa) said:

“Knowing my tribal connection is a very important part of my Māori culture. Introductions are always called for by acknowledging and naming our iwi, hapū, awa, and maunga. I missed out on those things growing up, and it greatly affected me, including my wairua, my mana, my sense of identity, my sense of purpose, any sense of papakainga or belonging … a whanaunga of mine told me my whakapapa. In a week, I knew my pepeha and it stuck with me. This was extremely healing for me. I will always be thankful I knew her for putting [me] back on the path that led me to learning who I was.”[414]

348. The reconnection and strengthening of survivors’ relationships with their whānau, their culture, and their identity have been integral in the process of breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma. The Australian Inquiry into Child Abuse noted that where trust and confidence have been broken due to sexual abuse, re-establishing interpersonal relationships and emotional connections with family or support networks may also play a role in preventing ongoing adverse effects of the abuse.[415]

349. Tikanga and the values that underpin tikanga provide a framework to empower whānau to move forward with their lives. Māori survivor Tumohe Clarke (Ngaati Hauaa and Ngaati Korokii Kahukura), shared:

“In my view, as Māori we have the tikanga and values to lead the change for ourselves. Tikanga has given me the framework to be able to navigate life in a way that is acceptable, in a way that is tika for myself and for my whaanau. Hei painga moo te oranga o te tangata, moo te oranga o te whaanau moo te oranga o te Iwi.”[416]

350. Samoan survivor Ms TU was adopted by a Palagi family in a closed adoption and was completely cut off from her kainga (family) and culture. Ms TU struggled with her cultural identity for most of her formative years and continues to do so today.[417] Despite this, in 2015, with the support of her biological sister and her Samoan family, Ms TU travelled to Samoa to receive her malu;[418] a tatau (tattoo) for women that covers the legs from behind the knee to the upper thighs. It is of great cultural significance and tells the story of one’s family, their history and connections.

351. Samoan survivor Malia Patea-Taylor shared how she grew up immersed in her culture fa’asamoa but after being abused by family members was taken into State care and moved multiple times. She became very disconnected with her culture and family to the extent she “hated Samoans”.[419] During her time in care, she maintained a relationship with a Māori family who were friends of her stepfather and who tried unsuccessfully to adopt her. At the end of her time in care, the Māori whānau became her whāngai whānau and helped her reconnect with her Samoan side.[420] She travelled to Samoa to connect with her wider family and in sharing what happened to her at the hands of her mother, uncle and cousin, she found restitution. Her maternal uncles wept with her, accepted her and apologised for her sufferings. They encouraged her to receive a malu, reconnecting her to her family and her culture.[421] Years later, her Māori whāngai whānau asked that she bear a moko kauae, to reflect raising her and the alofa they had for her.[422]

352. Māori survivor Karl Tauri (Ngāti Porou) shared that his reconnection to his marae as an adult has allowed healing to take place. He shared that “this was the step in the right direction, and for the first time [I] could see the light in the end of a very long tunnel.”[423]

353. Some survivors have shared that the journey of learning te reo Māori has enabled them to connect to their whakapapa, to their culture, and to their identity. Māori survivor Hurae Mokaia Wairau (Ngāti Porou and Ngāti Kahungunu) shared:

“Te ao Māori is a different world, and it is the world I love. I love to kōrero Māori. I also love to perform waiata and kapa haka. That is where I am, the real me.”[424]

Te whakaora mā te whakapono me te wairuatanga
Healing through faith and spirituality

354. Many survivors have spoken about finding healing through connection to faith or spirituality. This healing has come both from the beliefs and teachings of their respective faiths, as well as from the sense of belonging and community found therein. It is, however, important to note that there is a unique tension between those who were abused in faith-based settings and those who subsequently found healing through faith. Some survivors who experienced abuse in care, particularly faith-based care, lost their faith.

355. Tokelauan and Māori survivor Mr TH shared how the abuse affected his faith:

“I was angry at God. I would ask him: why did you do this to me? Why did you bring all this pain and suffering to me? Why do you hate me so much? … I hated him for all the shit I went through and wondered why he let it happen to me ... One day, when I was in my twenties, my aunty took me to church with her. That’s how I started going back to church. I gave my life to the lord. I felt a peace sensation come over my whole body. Everything felt right again. I stopped being angry at God.”[425]

356. Whakapono is the concept of faith or a belief system within te ao Māori, and many Māori survivors have expressed that strengthening their whakapono has provided a pathway for intergenerational healing to take place.[426] The power of whakapono was further reinforced by survivor Hone Tipene, who shared: 

“I use karakia every day now. I never used to. Te ao Māori gives me that guidance. It showed me who I am as a Māori, where I wasn’t to be as a Māori, and who I can be.”[427]

357. Some survivors have shared that forgiveness or letting go of the hara as being a major factor in their own healing.[428] The whānau of survivor Kuini Karanui shared the story of their whaea (mother, aunt):

“She was always forgiving, so I guess she had this unconditional love and she’s been very clear in the statement, she didn’t want to name anybody, and she wanted no follow-up for any whānau that she was harmed by. And I guess what she would want to do to finish up is to finish with forgiveness and for recognition of the lessons that were learned … now we have to live by the values that she’s left with us."[429]

Te whakaora mā te mātauranga, te whaimahi, me te kōkiri
Healing through education, employment and advocacy

358. Some survivors spoke about beginning their journey of healing through kaupapa Māori programmes. This was particularly the case for many Māori survivors who were introduced, or reintroduced, to te ao Māori while in prison. Māori survivor Karl Tauri (Ngati Porou) shared that “While in prison I got to meet Herewini Jones in the Māori focus unit. He delivered the program Mahi Tahi to prisoners, and that kaupapa taught me things like Te Whare Tangata and Mana Wahine. It was powerful and moving, and it was my first journey into Te Ao Māori, and it ignited something in me. I wanted more.”[430] This was the beginning of a journey for Karl Tauri that allowed him to “see the light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel.”[431]

359. Some survivors went on to study and pursue careers that enabled them to advocate for and assist those who are in care or have had similar experiences to them.[432] Samoan survivor Fa’afete Taito studied at the University of Auckland and is now an advocate for those with similar backgrounds to him; survivors of abuse in care and those who went on to join gangs.[433] Survivor Mr LC didn’t want his children to go through what he went through. He and his brother-in-law started a contracting business to help those in their community get into trade work. Mr LC’s three sons are all qualified tradespeople.[434]

360. Many survivors have found healing by helping others through their healing processes. For some survivors, the trauma they have experienced informs their perspective and approach when assisting others to navigate their own journeys of healing.[435] Paora (Paul) Sweeney shared his experience of becoming a drug counsellor in the drug unit in a prison. On reflection, he noted:

“I think it’s because of my past that I’m able to work with the guys in the prison. I’ve had to turn my past into something that’s useful for me. It’s the only education I’ve known. When I went to work in the jail, there were a couple of people there that were far more qualified than me, but I got the position.”[436]

Te whakaora mā te toi auaha me te hākinakina
Healing through creative arts and sport

361. Some survivors have found a sense of fulfilment and healing through the arts allowing them to express their deepest and most authentic selves. When Samoan survivor Fa’amoana Luafutu was released from prison in 1983, he committed to making a change for himself so he sought help and entered rehabilitation. “[I] came to realise that I had artistic and creative skills. Part of this journey was taking myself back to that little child I was and writing out my story from the beginning”.[437] Writing about his own experience became a powerful turning point in his life. He was finally in control of his own narrative, sharing his experience in a way that was authentic, comfortable and purposeful for him. Fa’amoana has continued to share his story and is now recognised throughout Aotearoa New Zealand as a playwright, musician, artist, actor and writer.

362. Since leaving Gloriavale, Lilia Tarawa (Ngāi Tahu) has become a bestselling writer with her book Daughter of Gloriavale: My Life in a Religious Cult. She promotes self-care, liberation and empowerment, and her TEDx Talk, ‘I grew up in a cult. It was heaven – and hell’ has more than 12 million views on YouTube. 

363. Survivor Catherine Daniels found that sculpture helped her healing by enabling her to express her emotions through art, as it was a struggle to express them through words. Catherine’s art has been on exhibition multiple times, and for her, “this art form is a real way of letting other people portray their journey as well”.[438] Catherine’s hopes are that her art brings awareness to sexual abuse and the need for change.[439]

364. Māori survivor Karl Tauri (Ngati Porou) shared that his sense of purpose and meaning has come about through the opportunity to coach rugby league to at-risk rangatahi Māori:[440]

“Kids are the kaupapa, and sport is the tool that connects us. Working with at-risk youth is now my life’s kaupapa. Because we can connect, we have the opportunity to ignite and bring about real positive change, and that’s exactly what we’ve been doing.”[441]

365. Karl Tauri founded a rugby league club, and this has been the vehicle to provide support to rangatahi Māori to learn new skills and put them on the right pathway.[442] There have been many rangatahi Māori that have come through the organisation and have gone on to become New Zealand Māori rugby league representatives, with many others becoming role models and leaders within their respective whānau and communities.[443]

He mea nui te whati i ngā hurihanga tuku iho
Breaking intergenerational cycles is important

366. Many survivors have broken the cycle of violence, abuse, offending and recidivism within their whānau, creating a pathway for better outcomes for their tamariki, mokopuna and future generations.

367. Regarding the over-representation of Māori in negative family violence statistics, the rates at which children are taken into care, and the gross over-representation of Māori in the criminal justice system, including in rates of incarceration, the report Te Ara Takatū notes:

“Ngā mōrehu Māori described how difficult it was to break these cycles and learned patterns of abuse. But celebrated their resilience and examples, including within their own whānau, of these cycles being broken. For some survivors they were able to begin their journey of reconnection to Te Ao Māori while in prison, for example, or to pursue their education as adults.”[444]

368. Survivor Alfred Ratima shared that he has broken the cycle:

“When my first child came along, I was concerned that I might be like my dad, so I went and saw my doctor for advice. He told me to ‘man up’. When I’m not working, I’m always with my kids. Sure, they’ve seen me swear, and I’m certainly no angel, but I’ve never hit them and made sure they were well looked after. When it comes to my kids, I’ve tried my best. I think I’ve broken the cycle. None of my kids have entered the system. At least I can say that much.”[445]

369. Those who attended a wānanga of survivors of abuse at Hato Pāora and Hato Pētera schools told the Inquiry that wrap-around support for survivors, particularly those returning to society from prison, is crucial to their ability to break these cycles.[446]

370. The following tongi (or saying) of Tāwhiao has been used to articulate the resilience of survivors:

Māku anō e hanga tōku nei whare

Ko te tāhuhu he Hīnau ko ngā poupou he Māhoe, Pātatē.

I will rebuild my house, the ridge will be Hīnau, the posts, Māhoe and Pātetē.

Ngā whakatau mō te aronui ki te manawatītī o ngā purapura ora
Conclusions on recognising the determination of survivors

371. All survivors who spoke to the Inquiry showed determination and strength despite the immeasurable harms they had suffered in care and the ongoing impacts and adversity many continue to suffer.

372. Reconnecting to whānau, community, culture, faiths, and spirituality have been crucial in many survivors’ healing journeys. Many also found healing and fulfilment through pursuing education, employment, advocacy, sports and sports clubs, and through expressing themselves through art.

373. Many survivors spoke of a desire to change the system, to prevent ongoing abuse in care and to end intergenerational trauma.

374. Of all the reasons and motivations to share their experiences and heal from their trauma, what the Inquiry heard most from survivors was their desire to change the system, to prevent abuse and neglect in care from occurring, to disrupt cycles of trauma, and to create better outcomes for their children, grandchildren, and future generations.

Footnotes

[409] Witness statement of Tania Kinita (17 September 2022, page 16).